The Last Class

So today is the last day of class and I am left wonder about my major. I have made no secret about my disappointment with the University's and College of Technology's Digital Media Major. I am seriously going to have to reassess my major and if there is not something else at this university then I have to just accept I am basically paying for a $70,000.000 piece of paper. If I was younger I would organize, protest and demand the university make the degree plan relevant, but then I am also a child of the 60's and 70's and I find myself grateful when I ache in the morning because, well it means I am still alive. Maybe I am just opinionated and a grouch. Maybe this is just the ranting of an old biddy.

In the end I will just say there has been one some pleasures, especially reading all of your blogs and your indulging an me in reading my rants. I am jealous of your youth and the journey you are all embarking on in life. Enjoy it, it seems to all go by so fast and as is the privilege of one of my years to give advice as if I actually know anything, I will end this and just say, never become complainant, never stand for injustice or inequality, never, ever trust the government, and always live fierce. Finally when met with a big decision of great importance, ask yourself "would I regret doing this or not doing this?" Oh and leave the world a better place than when you entered it; we old folks kind of fucked it up in our arrogance, don't do the same for your kids.

Hate... Really? Part Two

So my last post generated a comment from Kaitlin Priess about the Texas A&M Student Senate that voted 35-28 April 3rd to approve an anti-gay measure that would allow students to opt out of funding the campus GLBT Resource Center if they have religious objections. The name of the bill was changed from the “GLBT Funding Opt Out Bill” to the “The Religious Funding Exemption Bill,” and specific references to the GLBT Resource Center were removed. The President of the Student Council, John L. Claybrook, vetoed the bill.

The thing that is really disturbing are the comments this generated on DallasVoice.com's article, "BREAKING: Texas A&M Student Senate passes anti-gay bill in 35-28 vote". Go and read some of the sick comments this generated and amount of propaganda that is quoted from religious conservatives. The big one being that being a homosexual is a choice.

According to the APA (American Psychological Association) "most people experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation". Further they state,

"There is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay, or lesbian orientation. Although much research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors".

 I cannot speak about being gay. I can speak when it comes to being a transsexual, the only choice I had was to continue living feeling like I was wearing someone else's dirty underwear, in such mental conflict and distress or brave being who I really am and facing all of society's prejudice, hate and ignorance and placing myself in real physical danger. Some choice. Think about it for a moment and wonder just how terrible your situation has to be when the latter is preferable to the former and you start to get an idea why I say there really is NO CHOICE.

But according to the same mental giants that claim creationism is science, I chose to be transsexual, because I am a sick pervert of sin and because I am I stop being a human and citizen of this country. That I lose my right to equality and that it is perfectly right and divinely ordained that I be hated and even threatened with imprisonment and physical harm.

Perhaps one of you reading this are thinking "well that is what you chose, choose something else". My honest answer to that is this, if I could, I would. My life would be so much easier, it would not have cost me all but one of my friends, it would mean that I could see the grandchildren from 5 of my 6 children. It would mean I would be able to enjoy a good job because of my 20 years of experience. Before I transitioned I was making 70,000 plus bonuses, after the best I was able to get was half of that.

I am what I am, I can't change it but that does not make me less than human and honestly, the last 11 years I have had to watch a constant attack that denies me my rights and honestly I feel myself becoming more and more militant. So when it comes to being a transsexual, I did not have a choice. When it comes to stepping on the neck of some fundamentalist conservative that says I for some reason do not deserve the same rights and privileges, well that is my choice and I WILL exercise it.

Hate... Really?

Ok so its Tuesday and I am between classes with time to kill so I pick up a copy of the new Daily Cougar. Usually I only read the opinion section and honestly this semester has been disappointing with what I have read there.

ANYWAY, as I am looking over the front page I see Jack Pardee has died and everyone is lauding over him and forgetting how he nearly got U of H Banned because of all his recruiting violations; but that is not what really set me off on a tail spin of "what the fuck".

Under it was another story about Kristopher Sharp, a candidate for student body vice president and the police investigation. Seems some worthless jack-off, created and circulated fliers with Kristopher's picture with an "X" over it and the words, "WANT AIDS?" above the picture and below, "Don't Support the Isaac and Kris homosexual agenda". Not only is this just hatefully sick it also is a crime as Kristopher does have AIDS but had not told anyone and the disclosure of anyone's medical status, with out their consent is a crime.

What really disappoints and infuriates me is that it happened on this campus by a student, is what I want to write but the truth is I am mad because I let my guard down and this is a reminder of the hate and real danger I, and so many others, must always be aware of and ready for. A reminder that while there are so many that believe those like me and those that are homosexual should have equal rights and protection, they still vote for republican assholes or democratic wimps that seek to suppress us or refuse to jeopardize their re-election by voting for what is right.

I used to be for "Educating" people with the belief that if you do there is a chance they will see reason. Sadly I find myself becoming more militant and wanting to say if you are not for me then you are against me, even if you choose not to take a side, your choice just put you against me. And if you are against me then I will take my rights even if it means I have to put my boot on your throat and break you. You hate against me, those like me, or my homosexual brother or sister and I will fuck you up. The days if discussion and reasoning are running out, you can only suppress and abuse a people so long before it gets ugly.

Yeah, I am a little mad this week.